Free Write - Jan. 15

I have always been confused by women. Like most men, their apparent lack of logic has been a topic for deep thought and even deeper frustration. Being now married, I have learned to just accept my wife's occasional wandering from sanity, and love her for who she is. There is one thing, above all, though, that still gets my goat. Or, at least, if I had a goat, it would be gotten thereby.
Long have the words "You're so shallow! All you care about is looks!" echoed in the emotionally-abused ears of men from every corner of the globe. These two short sentences encompass all the deceiving self-righteousness of uppity women throughout the ages. And while these stinging barbs of criticism sink their poison into the minds of confused males, those same females smear on lipstick, blush, eye-liner, cover-up, earrings, jewelry, girdles, waist-slimming pantyhose, high-heels, push-up bras, fake nails, and fake eyelashes. Then, to top it all off, they cover up all these cover-ups with latest (however horrible) fashion in clothes. They dye their hair, bleach their teeth, wax goodness-knows-what, inject botox, pluck their eyebrows to finely-sharpened spears of hair, and enlarge, reduce, rearrange, and modify almost every body part possible. What I have always wondered is why WE, as males, are the shallow ones who only care about looks? While we may be somewhat base, we are not so superficial as to alter our bodies so that other people's opinions will make us feel good about ourselves (it should be noted that all metro-sexual, hair-gelling, manicured, perfumed, and waxed males are also lumped in with women, as most have done little to distinguish themselves as men). Men have been happy with women's looks for thousands of years (and don't tell me that you do it for men, because we all know that getting dressed in the morning is, for women, preparation for some invisible, unending competition between estrogen-bearing beings). If no woman on earth ever had plastic surgery, no real man would care. If no woman on earth ever wore makeup or dyed their hair, we would never notice. Just take care of your body, and you'll be fine the way you are, no matter what Cosmo or Victoria OR her Secret tell you.
Don't get me wrong. I find a well-groomed, makeup-ed, tweezed, waxed, well-dressed woman as attractive as any man does. But stop telling me I'm shallow.