Technique - Jan. 27

1. a - WATCO playing video games all day on the chances of getting a girlfriend?
b - Audience: College-age men who spend hours of every day playing video games and then complain that they can't get a girlfriend.
c - Playing video games all day will crush your chances of getting a girlfriend BECAUSE doing worthless things with your time shows that you probably aren't mature enough to handle a relationship.

2. a - WATCO of not getting enough cardio activity on your ability to compete on American Gladiators?
b - Audience: People who are training to get onto American Gladiators, but think that muscle mass is all you need to win.
c - Not getting enough cardio activity will ruin your ability to compete on American Gladiators BECAUSE weak lungs will not impress Hulk Hogan.

3. a - WATCO feeding Gizmo after midnight on your chances of getting a good night's sleep?
b - Audience: Someone who owns Gizmo and feel sorry for him when he gets hungry at night.
c - Feeding Gizmo after midnight will destroy your chances of getting a good night's sleep BECAUSE evil, mischievous gremlins will make lots of noise and probably try to kill you.

4. a - WATCO admitting to your friends that you like "The Sound of Music" for its musical and ethical qualities on your manliness in their eyes?
b - Audience: Guys who have secretly liked "The Sound of Music" for years, but think that it's OK to admit it to their friends now because, hey, it's the 2000s, and everyone should be open with every feeling they have.
c - Admitting to your friends that you like "The Sound of Music" will diminish your manliness in their eyes BECAUSE declaring your affinity towards Julie Andrews will make them wonder what other femmy secrets you've been keeping from them.