Tuesday, February 19, 2008

Technique - Feb. 19

So, apparently we can just brain-storm this week. I can't guarantee anything brilliant, since my brain doesn't storm too much (not like Schwarzkopf, anyway). Energy? I guess I'll just list some of the topics I'd like to research ("like" is a relative term here, since I voted for the government topic) (Esplin, I'm sticking my tongue out at you right now. Yeah. How do you like that?).
1. What are the pros and cons of renewable fuels? Wind turbines are very clean, but only run when there's wind. Also, they require quite a bit of space to set up enough turbines to power anything larger than a few homes. Hydro-electric energy is wonderful, but only so many rivers can be dammed up, you know? Powering automobiles on biodiesel stinks (literally), but it makes use of some wastes (like cooking oils and organic trash). Some "green" fuels, though, require acres and acres of land to produce enough plant product for a feasible return.
2. Exactly how much would it cost to switch modern cities to renewable fuels? How big of a dam would we need to power New York City? How many wind turbines does it take to light up a neighborhood? How many New Jersey gangsters does it take to screw in a light bulb? These questions almost burn kind of faintly in my mind. (The answer is 6, by the way. One gangster to off the old light bulb and his close friends, one to procure a slightly used, untraceable light bulb from a recent shipment in at the docks, one to screw it in, and three to scare the light bulb into paying them protection money. How do I know this number? I have my contacts. Thanks, Jimmy. See you in the Meadowlands.)
3. How much is the government interested in reimbursing regular citizens for efficiency upgrades? I got paid $300 for putting air conditioning in my house. What else do they incentivize? incentivate? incentivify?
4. Exactly how much oil does the US consume daily for energy (not counting cars, trucks, etc.), and how much does it spend on renewable resources?
5. Can switching to cleaner fuels now actual reverse ecological damage, or does it just halt it?
6. Will Batman and the Boy Wonder be able to escape the Riddler's spinning question mark of doom? Will Commissioner Gordon ever leave his office to do anything other than call Batman on the screamingly obvious Bat-phone? Will I actually hear the sounds "biff", "zappo", and "ka-plow" if I punch one of Penguin's henchmen? Tune in tomorrow. Same Bat-time, same Bat-channel.

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